No Buts!

~by Philip Shults

I have had many people tell me many things since my two sons died violently. So many with the word, "but" in between the, "I know your sons are dead", and then, the answer as they see it. Just a few of the, "I know your sons are dead, BUT":

1. But God is with them
2. But they died quickly
3. But Craig had a trace of cocaine so he would have been in prison so it's better this way
4. But Scott is in a better place
5. But since Scott killed himself, he is not going to be in heaven
6. But your Mother said there would be times like this
7. But the killer will get his
8. But they will put the killer in jail
9. But God will see you through
10. But it may be for a good reason as God has plans for you
11. But God says to forgive the killer
12. But you still have one child
13. But you are so strong
14. But people depend on you
15. But you can make it
16. But God will not put more on you than you can take

I just want to say to all the people with all the good intentions that when it comes to your loved one being killed violently from homicide, there are NO BUTS! I hope that people with good intentions who really do not know this grief, when they start to console the victim, will keep their "buts" out of the equation and out of their own personal attempts to console. This grief of violent death to a loved one is too big for me, let alone anyone else's "buts". I have my own "buts" - I don't need anyone else's. My sons, ages 22 and 19, are dead by violence. No buts!