Reactions

1. Tightness in the throat or heaviness in the chest
2. Thumping, erratic beats in the heart and are very aware of heart actions
3. An empty feeling in their stomach and loss (or gain) of appetite
4. Pain and/or nausea in stomach
5. Restlessness and looking for activity, but have difficulty concentrating
6. Feeling as if in a trance, want to just sit and stare
7. Feel as though the loss isn't real, that it didn't actually happen
8. Lightheadedness
9. Dizziness
10. Sense the loved one's presence (expecting the loved one to walk in the door at the usual time, or hearing his/her voice)
11. Frequent headaches
12. Wander aimlessly, forget and don't finish things that have been started
13. Difficulty sleeping - dreams and visions of their loved ones are frequent
14. Assume mannerisms or traits of loved one
15. Feel guilty or angry over things that happened or didn't happen in the relationship

Common Emotional Reactions

1. SHOCK - persistent memories or dreams about the event may occur for months or even years. You are numb and dazed. Your emotions are frozen. You go through the motions like a robot.
2. FEAR AND ANXIETY - simple activities like taking a shower, being in the dark, or opening a closed door can cause unreasonable fear and/or anxiety.
3. GUILT - guilt over things done or not done, regrets about the past, guilt for last words said, if in anger, or even guilt for surviving
4. ANGER - anger and rage comes from the feelings of helplessness and powerlessness one feels after a traumatic death. This emotion can be overwhelming for survivors. Society at large cannot equate anger with grief - especially for very long after a loss. People will allow it for a few days - even a few weeks perhaps - but then they want that person back to normal. Even when they know in their hearts that the grieving person's actions stem from their loss, they want them to put up a façade. It's easier to be around people who are cheerful and display a positive attitude
5. DISBELIEF - You expect to wake up any minute from this nightmare. It can't be true. You can't cry because you don't believe it.
6. CRYING - Deep emotions suddenly well up seeking release as loud sobbing and crying. Give yourself time for tears. They can help.
7. DENIAL - You expect your loved one to telephone or walk in the door. You search for him/her.
8. WHY - "Why did he/she have to die? You don't expect an answer, but you need to ask repeatedly. The question itself is a cry of pain.
9. CONFUSION - You can't think. You forget in mid-sentence. You are disorganized and impatient.
10. ENVY - You envy others. Their pleasure in their loved ones makes you feel keenly what you have lost. They don't deserve their good fortune.
11. FRUSTRATION - Past fulfillments are gone. You haven't found new ones yet. You feel that you are not coping with grief "right".
12. BITTERNESS - Temporary feelings of resentment and hatred, especially toward those who are in some way responsible for your loss.
13. MISSING - You never stop missing your loved one. Particular days, places, and activities can bring back the pain as intensely as ever.

Additional Considerations

Survivors have many new roles to learn and new problems to solve.

1. Survivors may have to deal with the media, both TV and press.
2. Thrust into the world of lawyers and judges.
3. The entire Criminal Justice System.
4. Financial concerns become a major stressor for Survivors - cost of funeral services and burial - lost wages due to inability to work