Reconciling Grief

Many believe that the grief journey will end when the survivor resolves, or "recovers from" their grief. But the journey will never end. Survivors do not "get over" grief.

Survivors learn to work to integrate the new reality of moving forward in life without the physical presence of their murdered loved one. With reconciliation of grief, many survivors have a renewed sense of energy and confidence, an ability to fully acknowledge the reality of the death and a capacity to become re-involved in the process of living.

"Be true to your thoughts and feelings now and I believe it will help you greatly in the years ahead. No, you don't have to be happy all the time. Killers, criminals and sometimes our justice system will see to that. When we experience life as we have, our lives are forever changed and we are found trying to put back some pieces of our broken hearts to make a new life - a life filled with a sadness for the loss of our loved ones. But that doesn't mean we'll never be happy again. If we are lucky, we still have those people in our lives that are special to us and hopefully we are as special to them as well. I, too, am usually an upbeat person and I like to think I have a good sense of humor. But that doesn't mean I have to be 'joyful' all the time. Hell, even times in our lives before the loss of our loved ones, life was not always just a bowl of cherries. But the way I handle those times that I am not 'happy' and someone needs to know why, I simply say, 'No, right now I'm thinking of my murdered daughter.' That usually ends the conversation or it can open a door of opportunity to 'teach' the unknowing or the ignorant."
~George

What Survivors do to cope with their grief

1. Become involved with grief support groups
2. Become victim advocates
3. Become crisis response team members
4. Become speakers to try to prevent a future murder
5. Become involved in online support groups as "peer support" advocates
6. Write poetry
7. Write articles